Victim of ritual abuse: „I was raped for thousands of hours as a child.“

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I grew up in Belgium and was sold to a murderous pedophile network.
Around my 6th birthday.
I have been used on this network for five and a half years.
Adult men who were part of this exclusive club were there for various reasons.
But there was a lot of alcohol, a lot of drugs, and the children were the commodity, the most valuable commodity.
They were mainly used for sex.
But there were also a few aristocrats in this club who liked to kill children.
And then my time had come.
I should be killed when I was 11.
I was tortured because someone who had protected me for a while and then really abused me was done with me.
I was strapped to a butcher block.
He was black with the blood of all the children before me.
I was there for a couple of hours.
My body is full of scars.
And every scar reminds me of that moment.
I thought I was going to be killed.
Like all children who were not loved enough to live.
And I would be forgotten too.
And I wasn’t ready to die.
Someone in the network loved me enough to save me.
The torture lasted a few hours.
I was on this network for five and a half years.
During that time, I was raped many, many, many times.
I have no scars to show how many times I have been raped.
But I did the math.
It was usually a whole night at the weekend.
I calculated that I was raped for about 6 hours a week.
So actually raped.
1716 hours of rape.
Even before I was 12 years old.
I grew up with instructions given to me by the person who saved me.
That kept me away from prostitution and drugs.
That got me out of the country.
From Belgium, where it all happened.
As a young adult, even though I had no scars, I was so focused on being a sex object that I attracted the men.
And parts of me needed that to live.
Because that was the only way I knew to feel good.
As a young woman, I was so unseen and stamped.
And everyone was ready to accuse me.
To be promiscuous.
And as it says: „cheap“.
A whore.
All these things, all these insults, they judge me so quickly.
And then when I healed, I realized: No, I have to break out of the pattern that I need sexual attention.
Let me get away from it.
Don’t let me make myself an object anymore.
Let me be a free woman.
So I’ve worked for decades to feel all this pain.
From what was done to me.
The betrayal of being sold by my parents.
Children are the most vulnerable of all of us.
That is why we want to create a society where children will be safe.
In which children have a community around them.
Every child deserves security.
No child deserves what I had to experience.
And what millions of children experience every day.
Unfortunately, that’s part of the current system.
As women, we have so much potential to become really powerful by feeling everything we have to endure as women.
That gives us more strength than everyone else.
All the pain behind all the impotence and humiliation.
Really feeling what was done to me, really understanding that it wasn’t me that I was ultimately okay.
I was a child, I became a victim.
It was not my fault.